Well apparently he's into motor boating.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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