They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize