my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
