What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
