Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I looked at my own cervix.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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