im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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