Please, let me fuck your mom
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
