Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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