You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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