Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
