...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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