And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
