Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
