So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
