I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Randomize