Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
