It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
