You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
