i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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