I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
