Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
