you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
