Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
