I'm drive I can fine osifer
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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