Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
