I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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