I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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