butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
