We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
this just has baby written all over it
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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