ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
