I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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