i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
