It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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