You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
