Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
