none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
