we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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