i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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