"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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