I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
