Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
