For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
