Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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