I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Let's paint friendship bongs
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
