did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
