whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
