in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize