i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
