If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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