just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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