i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
