conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
