Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
