he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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