Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
