Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize