problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
