I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
