Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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