That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
