come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
All I want is dick and wine.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
